Waves Crashing

Living a block away from the beach isn't too bad.

Whenever I feel alone or like God doesn't notice me, I can come out here and stare out into the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean and realize that my God who created this ocean, created me. He can do anything He wants. He is such a loving and caring God whom I don't deserve anything from.

The Alpha and the Omega. The Almighty, God.

What God Taught Me in 15 Minutes

So I've come to the realization that blogging is a good thing. Don't get me wrong I don't think of blogging as negative or as a distraction, but I've always viewed it as something that I could get to later.

False.

Expressing how you feel and what you've learned is as natural as the ocean is blue. Pretty good metaphor considering my location.

In four weeks I will be leaving North Myrtle Beach and going back to life in the 9-2-0. I have nothing against Oshkosh and the people there, they are quite lovely in fact. I am, however, coming to the realization that I will be leaving my project family in four weeks.

Woah. Crazy.

So let me catch you up (whomever "you" might be) on what has been going on these past few weeks.

Two weeks ago staff left. That's right. They entrusted the entire project to us. Breaking that down they left four student directors "in charge in charge". As well as bible study leaders and team leaders. Needless to say, I did not get one of those positions. And boy was I bummed about that right off the bat. I had this overconfident almost superior outlook about myself that I was obviously getting a position; false.

What God showed me in that was my pride issue. I looked at myself and at others and although considered somewhat of a "baby-believer" assumed I would get a leadership role. But instead I got a reality check that not everything I do is perfect. Not everything I do is God honoring. Not everything I do is with the best intentions. I am a sinner. I fall into temptation every day. The night I found out I didn't get one of these roles I was very disappointed with myself and found myself jealous of my new bible study leader. Not because I dislike her and think she is wrong for the job, I just valued my own self and thoughts and walk with the Lord as the best.

This happened on what we project people like to call Date Night With Jesus. Basically it is a three hour block each week that we have quiet time. So going into my Date Night I was somewhat bitter and annoyed with the events that had unfolded. One of my beautiful roommates challenged me that night, to find a verse on leadership and bring it back so a few of us could talk about it. I said sure, not wanting to show my hostility all the while thinking, " OF COURSE YOU WANT TO DO THIS, YOU HAVE A LEADERSHIP ROLE!" (she had just gotten a bible study leader position). I told her about this a little bit later and we laugh about it now. But the entire night I was fidgety and couldn't focus on one thing. I tried reading a lot of different materials, doing my bible study for the week, journaling, but nothing was working.

With about 15 minutes left the song "For the Sake of the World" by Brian Johnson came on and I lost it. I was starting to realize how selfish and unloving I was being. Still not gripping what God was trying to show me, I begrudgingly decided to look up a verse on leadership. God lead me to Hebrews 13:17 "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you." With that He totally had me hooked.

Then God told me to read the book of James. So I did. In it, He revealed to me my sinful ways. I was disrespecting my new leader and God by not liking His choice in leadership. I was going against what law or authority God was giving me.

The first verse God showed me was James 1:14-15 "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his OWN desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth DEATH." Imagine reading that after you expected to get something, and then you didn't. But oh no, it doesn't stop there. James goes on in verse 27, "Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which will save your souls." What. Seriously God.

I could go on for days about that date night with Jesus and talk about what He revealed to me, but I'll end with this. "But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false in the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice" James 3: 14-16

Basically God told me to suck it up. When I was sharing this with my roommates, the same one who gave me my "assignment" spoke truth to me. It was not my time, yet. She pointed out this verse from 1 Peter "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you" (v.6).

So that's what I'm doing now. Confessing my struggle with my pride issue and lifting it up to God.

I don't know about ya'll, but this has been a good session for me.

I know I said it last time too, but I will be updating more frequently now. This is not a test. This is real life. Talk to ya'll soon.

Peace, Love and Blessings.

And also some pictures.

My Home <3

My Bible Study <3

My Family <3

Where has the time gone..

So for those of you still following along with me, I want to apologize for being MIA from the blogosphere.

I would like to say that the only reason I have been missing is because I have been willingly and selflessly out sharing the gospel at maximum capacity, or that I have been having life-changing experiences that have hindered me from using my phalanges to type.

But the sad truth is, is that I have just been plain old lazy.

My time and mental state had been stretched in ways that I never thought possible the past few weeks. I could sit here and re-hash EVERYTHING I've learned and done, but that would take a very long time.

So my goal/ idea is to do a continuous update and reference my time here and fill you in, in the weeks to come.

Cherry Grove

Cherry Grove is a beach a few miles down from where we are staying in North Myrtle Beach. 

My phone had been acting up (this has a point, I promise) and would shut off when I tried taking a picture of the ocean or my breathtaking surroundings; every single time. As an aspiring photographer this was very frustrating to me. 

I then began deleting old photos I thought I wouldn't miss. 87 photos later, I again attempted to take a picture. This time I tried something a little more creative. This is what I captured.

My pure excitement of my phone in ally working, was quickly overshadowed by the haunting Ora given off by the picture.

(Mind you there is no editing or altering of the photo)

The seemingly never ending boardwalk, got me thinking if my walk with Christ. I alway find myself running down the hall or boardwalk trying to reach the end and attain my goal; in trying to win a race that has an eternal outcome. 

I'm constantly striving to be the best Christian or the wisest or the nicest. But I never take the time I listen I what God wants me to do. Ephesians 5:10 says "try to discern what is pleasing to The Lord." Notice it doesn't say "Hey, Caitlyn. Pick your path, do what you want and it doesn't matter what I think." No. God has a plan for each and every one of us and it's our job to listen to Him and ask what He wants of us. 

God knows your heart better than anyone. He will stretch it in ways you never thought possible. Talk to Him. Listen to Him. And He will give you the answers. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

As always, peace, love and blessings.

On the road, again...

Beautiful morning in Kentucky. As you can see, we are on the road again (I just can't wait I get on the road again). 

We have another 10 hour day ahead of us, but the promise of what lies ahead is what is getting us through. We are all so tired from our first day of driving but are excitedly looking forward to the end I out road trip.

10 hours stands between us and the beach. 10 hours stands between us and the summer of a lifetime.

See you there.

On the road..

Half way through Indiana, for those of you keeping up with my whereabouts. 

Just the Beginning

As I sit here, thinking of what to write in my first blog post I can't help but be condescending and remind myself that I in fact, have blogged before. For classes and on a personal level. I've never actually had anything substantial to write about however, I digress.

That all changed when three months ago I had a life altering phone call.

I can't help but notice the impending doom mood I created with that last sentence, so to whomever is reading this I want you to know that this phone call was an amazing BLESSING.

With that cleared up, I can fill you in on the details about my upcoming, life-changing summer...

As I mentioned, three months ago I received a phone call telling me that I would be spending my summer in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina with Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru). If you told me a year and a half ago that I would be spending my summer doing ministry work anywhere, let alone South Carolina, I would have laughed straight in your face.

I had been running from Jesus for so long and was ashamed and embarrassed about who I had become. I thought no one could love me anymore; my old friends, people at church, and especially God. People let me tell you, these were all lies from Satan. When I began going to church again January 2012, I felt the love of God like I had never left. Even when we are running from Him, He is still seeking us and always waiting for us with arms wide open.

NOTHING you can do can keep you from the love of God. He loves each and every one of us more than we can fathom; more than I can put into words.

This past year has been an amazing journey that would take forever to tell. My goal is to reveal a little more of myself with each post I make this summer.

I'm going to be open and honest as I take this journey this summer with 80 other college students from around the Midwest, and other places.

80 strangers living together on the beach sharing the love of Jesus; what more could I ask for.

Peace and Blessings,
Caitlyn